8. When Ex girlfriend calls

It weird when you get a message from your ex-girlfriend saying – “nice DP” because you know it is not a nice DP and you look really bad in it. I haven’t changed my DP since ages and she got the time to see it now. I know there was something going on. She wanted to talk to me. Reading books on PUA (Pick Up Art) woman, which extensively tells you that you must talk to a lot of woman as a part of your exercise, I realized that this was my chance of interacting with a woman and know the intricacies of her mind. Conversations with woman bores me and the more disinterested I was in woman, the more disinterested they were in me. She is married and from college so she is off boundaries now and I have my moralities intact so I didn’t even think about anything naughty about it. Simple practice was my sole motivation.

It was weird talking to her because in college we ended up on a bad note and that at the starting of college life, in second semester, so you can possibly imagine how my next six semesters might have gone. Hint : They were not good. But I am exaggerating of course. Only the third and fourth semester got ruined because of her because everyone knew about us and she being a girl pretended to be strong and I being a boy turned into beard growing sulky sad boy sitting at the back seat. People thought she dumped me when in fact the opposite was true. I had dumped her in a frill of anger and later realized that I over reacted. I went too far and I had destroyed the road that could have taken me back. There was pretty much nothing but moving forward that was left with me. I tried reconciling and nothing worked on her. Soon I made another girlfriend and my life moved on and later I realized that I didn’t even love her and she wasn’t even my girlfriend back then. We were just two people who used to hang out together and had feelings for each other.

So, I messaged back to her. Now understand this, earlier I was this super nice guy who talked to girls like they were some superior beings or goddess and used to treat them nicely. Turns out niceness doesn’t work on females and my change of mind has occurred after reading myriad PUA books. I wrote my message in a tone of casualness with a touch of banter here and there and a little bit of sarcasm for extra flavor. She was enjoying my jokes and I know that because she replied with “HAHA”. Now you might argue that HAHA could mean anything and it is the most redundant inoffensive expression of expressing something when you don’t want to express anything. But keep patience and listen to me because the story is going to get better. We continued chatting when she finally said that she is tired of typing and she is going to call. I said fine because I am a changed man now. Earlier I would have insisted that “allow me to call you” like a gentleman who never gets girls in his life. She is married so my whole concentration was talking to her and get woman connection with her as PUA gurus have told me that more you talk with girls and woman, more you will be fluid and master of dealing with them.

Things were going pretty nice and we had a lovely one hour talk during which our phone calls got hung several times but she called again and we chatted again. It was a lovely flawless chat and we finally hung up on the promise of meeting again. But suddenly something happened that changed my perception of everything that has happened in my life in last ten years of meeting her. She wrote to me that I was judgmental and if I am fine with it, I should continue with it, with a LOL in the end. I had no clue where I had been judgmental because I had prevented myself from being judgmental for a very long time. I do have a bad habit of making fun of people on their face but I enjoy it so I do it.

I wrote some messages to her telling her that I was just joking with her but seems she had switched off her data connection. I had to call her, so I called her to know why is she calling me judgmental and the reply I got was something which told me that I was talking to some depressed girl who merely called me to feel good about herself. This is not what I thought, this is what my friends thought about her when I told him the whole instance. She has done that before but before I was unaware of her intentions I merely thought that she wanted to be friends with me because of our past but now that I think about it, I guess she always had something in her mind.

She replies to me that - I was rude to her husband and was judging him, making fun of him and I have no rights to do that. Of course, I have no right to do that. I don’t even know his husband. I had only seen his photos on Facebook. Initially I tried to argue with her like Saif ali Khan did with her girlfriend in “Dil Chahta Hai” but this was so out of context that I couldn’t think of anything to argue and I decided to say goodbye to her forever and leave it to that. God is witness to the fact that I never said anything bad about her husband, yes I agree I made fun of her and her dominating nature and her desire of ideal life style and that’s where I also made little bit stories about his husband like how he looks so calm and composed like Mohnish Bahl of “Hum Aapke Hai Kaun”. It was her favorite film but turns out she didn’t like “Mohnish Bahl” that much. Her husband looks very sanskari, what can I do.

Now it may seem to you that I shouldn’t have compared her husband to Mohnish Bahl. How can a woman hear something about her husband from someone else’s mouth being compared to a character from “Hum Aapke Hai Kaun” who wasn’t even a lead character, I wonder. She was initially complaining about her life and her husband and how anti-social she is and how she has no friends so I decided to support her in the conversations by taking her words further ahead. Frankly we have nothing common to talk about, I was kind of getting bored so I tried to cheer her up through some nice dose of my daily humor which she enjoyed, it seemed, at that moment. She was laughing like hell before we cut the phone, I realized that she got a change of mind.

She has done this psycho act before I guess. But I don’t’ want to indulge into our past and think about it. The thing that I feel for most people is that they are trap in a cocoon that they have made for themselves and they can’t come out of it because they are afraid of what might be outside. People like to remain more in definite world than toil in a world where lies uncertainty. The truth is that the definiteness is just a false world they have created for themselves.

That girl is a nice girl but she was always anti-social. Sometimes she craves for attention just like any other girl and she deserves it but when I am on the other end of it, it kind of becomes embarrassing for me. I am a kind of guy who is always learning and I hate myself for having empathy in my life. I feel for others. A rare disease that I only have with me. People may think I am trying to praise myself by acting condescending but trust me, I have read so many books on philosophies and things related to it that I know how to become indifferent towards everything in life and trust me it is not an easy job to do.

The truth is while writing this article I too realized that I may have crossed a line in talking about her husband and decided to write her a message too. It was an apology message and although I don’t want to do anything with her but still my conscience doesn’t allow me to continue without telling her how sorry I was if I had crossed the line. When someone says something about your near and dear ones, it is all right to take offense no matter what the joke is. One of the reasons why I send her apology message, even though she acted as psycho, was my friend Sudhanshu who told me that sometimes I do cross the lines while having fun with friends and he reminded me of one instance when I made too much fun of him in front of his own friend and soon I ventured into personal things. Everyone was laughing, even he was laughing so I thought everyone is enjoying it. He made me guilty conscious.

 But this whole instance taught me something. Something which I already know and was already trying real hard to implement, that is, to keep one’s mouth shut while conversations. I do feel the urge to speak and joke all the time and everyone has lots of things to say, but a great man always knows how not to say anything and when to say something or when to say anything at appropriate time. Also, I have decided to never contact that girl because technically looking at our past I can say that we can never be friends and any attempt of us to be one always ends in disaster.