SearchingSirocco

It doesn't matter right sometimes whether you meet your past or not. My friend had the same story like me except he got married tot he girl of his dreams but his life wasn't dreamy at all. They both were fighting all the time which eventually led to divorce. I don't know whether it's worth waiting for someone just because it's been written in literature, romantic novels and shown in films. Is it worth to wait for a person and make your life static and stop anyone from entering into it. Sometimes I am thinking that i am extending this way too far. I question myself, why do i want to meet her? May be the only thing i need is closure from  her side.  Recently another girl messaged me on whatsapp and told me that she is in love with me. She wanted me to reciprocate. I could not. Love cannot be forced. It can happen only despite effort. You make efforts and it is not love. The biggest problems with my mind is that i cannot be in love with same person for very long. M...

The first time when I saw her was in a Salsa class in Lucknow. I joined the Salsa class because I didn't want to waste my time learning some computer language. I was doing my engineering from computer science but my interest in computer science was only limited to watching movies on my laptop and surfing internet. Everything went over my head during the last three last years of engineering. In the first year I was enthusiastic and wanted to make college life the best years of my life. That never happened. I got good marks in all subjects in both semesters of first year. The reason behind it was that I was way more intelligent for the college I was in and batch of kids I got. Everything they were teaching there I had already learned it during my engineering preparations, probably that's the reason I never ugot selected in IITs. I studied way too much but the things that were relevant to entrance exams. Getting frustrated I decided to join Salsa classes as any guy in my c...

I have made a diary in which I am daily writing things about my life and about my goals. The diary got filled in 81 pages exactly and it was a lucky coincidence. Talking of coincidence, in Mumbai which ever apartment I had lived in has been numbered in multiple of 3 and throughout my Mumbai journey, number three has been a lucky number for me all the time. No matter where I was, the number followed me everywhere. Recently I have met lot of girls whose name starts with 'P' and I was wondering why again and again I was falling in love with some one whose name starts with 'P'. Soon I realized that I had never fallen in love with anyone whose name started with 'P', in fact I was always forcing myself to fall in love with them and for some reason their name would always start with 'P'. The first thing I decided was to stop talking to any girl whose name started with 'P'. I stopped calling them or replying them immediately. These 'P' girls ...

First day of New year and I have already made my diary to work on my 81 day program- Getting Shambhavi Back plan. For quite a long time I was reading books and listening to audio books on law of attraction, how to control one's mind and methods of attaining one's goals. They have helped me tremendously in becoming a changed man and it has made me believe that if I truly desire something, i will sure get it. Some time back I had made a movie called LASAFOT with a guy owning abundance of redundant money, named D****k but later we had a dispute and the film went to him since he paid for the film. Intellectual and creative claims means zinch in film industry. The dispute was on a level bigger than we both had imagined where moralities and ethics were killed so much to an extent such that the producer who owned the film and never payed me anything. He actually is releasing the film, but dropping my name from the credits as director, I had  given him the completely edited film so...

The new year will begin in few hours. I am sitting in my room at my hometown Lucknow feeling good about life and highly motivated. I have decided to find her. I have decided to find the love of my life - Shambhavi Mishra. I broke up with her 4 years back in December, somewhere around 7th or 8th. I don't know what had happened back then. There are lots of things happening so fast that I don't remember everything now. It's not actually that I don't remember it,  i guess at that time they were not that important for me and hence skipped registering themselves into memory department of my mind. Our relationship was destroyed long ago and final jerk came when I wrote a message full of abuse between a fight to her for no good reason at all. I don't know why I did that. I have a really bad temper. I have done that previously also and have faced the wrath of life many times because of that. I will talk about in length what had happened since 2008 when we first met til...