91. What is stopping me ?

Till now those who know me or follow me knows that I want to be a billionaire. I have no real plans to state it truthfully but I know that I am on the right track and I know that it is going to happen. Right now what I need is a product and since I cannot create anything or buy anything right now, I think my product is me. I have to sell myself. I don't have mastery over anything but I am good at so many things at the same time. I have to pick what I am better at. I feel that it is the focus that is required most now and a little bit of planning on how I am going to go about it. I know that I have to sell something to this world for which there will be monetary transaction and I know that unknowingly I have developed habits of good speaking by trying to improve myself over the years. I was not good at speaking to people for a very long time but now it has become an easy thing for me. I easily influence people of my intellect and it has come as a by-product of me trying to prove myself in front of others. As far as the opinion of others is concerned, it doesn't matter what I do, their opinions matter over what I am selling. I am selling a better life to them. But I face a contradiction in terms of preaching and doing, something that I faced while a writing a detective novel sometimes back. It was that how can I write a detective novel without being a detective myself. How can I think like a detective? But I guess both the process goes hand in hand. In trying to improve other people's lives I think I can improve my life as well. I have seen changes that I have brought in my life and in lives of other people. The changes are real and my words affect people, not all people, of course, but most people.
But I need a product. I need to hone myself more and I guess I have to write a book about what I know. I have read so many books that it would a waste of my thinking and knowledge if I don't share it with other people. People don' read that much. People around me don't read anything and somehow I have developed this talent of reading books and I love that quality of mine. I think I am very near to the success and there are only last bits of the puzzle that needs to solved. First of them is that I have developed habit of keeping right habits. There is mind mapping inside my mind that needs to by changed. For example, before writing anything I feel the need to drink coffee or tea or smoke a cigarette. I have to change that. Sometimes I sleep too much and sometimes I deprive myself of the sleep. I have started so many things at the same time that sometimes it becomes very difficult to finish them all. A book finished is thousand times much better than thousand unfinished books on the hard drive. There are times when I feel nothing is happening in my life and then doubts start to come. I have to develop strong mind where doubts have no place to come in. I have also realized that the doubts only make space in my mind when I am not doing anything. When I am doing something, small as it is, the doubts do not find any space to sneak in. I just uploaded a youtube video and I felt good about it. then I went upstairs to the roof to smoke a cigarette and when I came back I found a very beautiful comment though I didn't publicize the video anywhere. Somewhere someone is watching what i am doing. I got to do more. What i am going to do now, will affect my future. I have to do more.  

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