70. Fifteen Unethical But Practical Rules For Actors About Successfully Struggling In Mumbai.
"Two Men looked out of prison Bar, one saw mud and other saw Star"
One of my Actor Friends once told me a story about Mohammad Gauri (I hope I am remembering the name correctly) that when he came to India, he came with boats through sea and when all his soldiers landed in India, he ordered to burn all the boats. He was asked the reason by one of his ministers and he told him that if the boats will be there, the soldiers will have a dubious state of mind as they will be having an option of safe return in mind because of which they won't give their complete efforts in war. But now since the boats are burned, they are left with only one direction to proceed with one single aim, win the war or die. There is no option of retreat for them.
On that note; Here are Fifteen things that may help you in your struggle.
One of my Actor Friends once told me a story about Mohammad Gauri (I hope I am remembering the name correctly) that when he came to India, he came with boats through sea and when all his soldiers landed in India, he ordered to burn all the boats. He was asked the reason by one of his ministers and he told him that if the boats will be there, the soldiers will have a dubious state of mind as they will be having an option of safe return in mind because of which they won't give their complete efforts in war. But now since the boats are burned, they are left with only one direction to proceed with one single aim, win the war or die. There is no option of retreat for them.
On that note; Here are Fifteen things that may help you in your struggle.
1. First and foremost rule, start calling yourself an Actor. If you are embarrassed about your profession or your passion, you can never be an actor. Don't hide or feel ashamed, even if people make fun of you. Every great person is been made fun of initially. Go to your nearest jumbo Xerox shop, get yourself a nice visiting card printed, with your name in big bold letters and below it write your profession as an Actor. Trust me, you have to be the first one to believe that you are an actor and only then you can actually start doing anything about it. If you are not proud and confident about your passion, how can you convince others for the same?
2. Give auditions, but not to give just auditions. Auditions are great place for maintaining Public Relations. No one gets a good role easily simply by standing in front of few unknown people and performing (they do, but its a long process). Personally, I am a Film director and even I can never judge an actor from his one performance. I only like to see his confidence, optimism, perseverance and willingness to do anything. All in the world that I care is that I want a happy and energetic actor on my crew, not a depressing and dull one. I want an actor who would do anything for his role, not someone who has already made up his mind that he is a great actor and is full of himself or someone who is completely opposite of that. While Auditions, talk to people and try to know as many people as you can, even the peon. Develop friendships with people and make a rule to bring ten phone numbers from every audition of ten different people.
3. Visit every production house in Mumbai. To tell you the truth, nothing will happen if you do that, but still keep doing it. By doing this first of all, you will get this notion out of your mind that these production houses are unreachable and that they will never cast you. Second you will know what’s going on in there. Whenever you go to a production house, they will immediately tell you they have no job for you untl and unless you are a hot girl. But never take a 'No' for an answer. Ask for a glass of water, that will buy you some time and no one says no for a glass of water, its a part of ethics for everyone. Take advantage of that time, observe around, talk to people working there and make interesting conversations to the receptionist or anyone who is willing to talk. Make yourself familiar and unharmful to them, someone who won't stalk them. That’s how you will get contacts and lead to enter inside after few days. Develop friendship as much as you can.
4. Security Guards. The one truth about present day is that there are more security guards in Mumbai city than eligible girls to fall in love with. Talk nicely to them because not many do that. They are generally very good human beings. Security Guards remember faces and helps a lot. If you are not let entered into a studio or production house by a Security Guard, don’t just retreat back. Try talking to them, pretend that you are more interested in the pains and plight of them than actually entering into production house. Feign interest in their personal lives as they love talking about it and they have no good listeners in their lives. They always help and often give you phone numbers of right person to contact. But never force them to do that, talk to them nicely, give respect and they will do so eventually.
5. Join Direction, Production or Art Direction on any film. It’s the best method to become an actor when you don’t know anyone in Film Industry. Out of these three, Art direction is most profitable one in my opinion because job of assistant Art Directors is mostly before shoot and after shoot so in between shoot they are practically free except for little this & that, which gives you an enormous amount of time and space to build your contacts with important people on set and also gives you the privilege to learn the art of Filmmaking for free. You will get more roles from contacts and relation that you will build on film sets than from auditions.
6. Contacts. Whole Mumbai runs on phone and you have to accept that. Mobile phone is the most important weapon for any struggler in Mumbai. Use your phone wisely. Keep saving numbers of people with complete details or better maintain a diary, otherwise after a month, you will forget whose number was it that you have saved. But having contacts do not mean just having numbers on mobile. You can have number of Karan Johar in your mobile, but he still won't pick your calls or give you any chance, would he? No. Having contact means having a good relationship with that person whose phone number you have. Another important thing, never delete any phone number from your contact menu, no matter how insignificant that person is. Mumbai world is miraculous, anything can happen here. Today a chipkoo irritating bloke lingering around you might become a billionaire tomorrow. Has happened with me, might happen with you as well.
7. When someone says that Mumbai film industry is very small and goes in circle, then trust me, they are not lying. You will always meet same person twice here. If not meet, he will definitely be mentioned at some place by someone for some reason or other. Everyone knows everyone here. Don't take this quote in a jest because I am warning you, it’s freakishly true all the time. So never fight with anyone or end relationships in bad terms. Otherwise, there are chances that you will be licking back your own spit one day.
8. When on set, even if you don’t smoke cigarettes. Keep few cigarette packs of different brands with you. I used to do that. Most of the Directors and film guys are heavy smokers and there is always a chance that they will empty their packs on set. They don't have patience to go or send someone to fetch them a pack. They instead sometimes ask someone on set whether they have cigarettes. If you immediately come up with that brand of theirs, you are hero for them. He will remember you for the rest of his life and will try to help you out of the box. This is unethical but it works. My uncle used to tell me when I was in college that everyone forgets every kind of favor but somehow they always feel gratitude towards those who give them free cigarette, free tobacco or free alcohol.
2. Give auditions, but not to give just auditions. Auditions are great place for maintaining Public Relations. No one gets a good role easily simply by standing in front of few unknown people and performing (they do, but its a long process). Personally, I am a Film director and even I can never judge an actor from his one performance. I only like to see his confidence, optimism, perseverance and willingness to do anything. All in the world that I care is that I want a happy and energetic actor on my crew, not a depressing and dull one. I want an actor who would do anything for his role, not someone who has already made up his mind that he is a great actor and is full of himself or someone who is completely opposite of that. While Auditions, talk to people and try to know as many people as you can, even the peon. Develop friendships with people and make a rule to bring ten phone numbers from every audition of ten different people.
3. Visit every production house in Mumbai. To tell you the truth, nothing will happen if you do that, but still keep doing it. By doing this first of all, you will get this notion out of your mind that these production houses are unreachable and that they will never cast you. Second you will know what’s going on in there. Whenever you go to a production house, they will immediately tell you they have no job for you untl and unless you are a hot girl. But never take a 'No' for an answer. Ask for a glass of water, that will buy you some time and no one says no for a glass of water, its a part of ethics for everyone. Take advantage of that time, observe around, talk to people working there and make interesting conversations to the receptionist or anyone who is willing to talk. Make yourself familiar and unharmful to them, someone who won't stalk them. That’s how you will get contacts and lead to enter inside after few days. Develop friendship as much as you can.
4. Security Guards. The one truth about present day is that there are more security guards in Mumbai city than eligible girls to fall in love with. Talk nicely to them because not many do that. They are generally very good human beings. Security Guards remember faces and helps a lot. If you are not let entered into a studio or production house by a Security Guard, don’t just retreat back. Try talking to them, pretend that you are more interested in the pains and plight of them than actually entering into production house. Feign interest in their personal lives as they love talking about it and they have no good listeners in their lives. They always help and often give you phone numbers of right person to contact. But never force them to do that, talk to them nicely, give respect and they will do so eventually.
5. Join Direction, Production or Art Direction on any film. It’s the best method to become an actor when you don’t know anyone in Film Industry. Out of these three, Art direction is most profitable one in my opinion because job of assistant Art Directors is mostly before shoot and after shoot so in between shoot they are practically free except for little this & that, which gives you an enormous amount of time and space to build your contacts with important people on set and also gives you the privilege to learn the art of Filmmaking for free. You will get more roles from contacts and relation that you will build on film sets than from auditions.
6. Contacts. Whole Mumbai runs on phone and you have to accept that. Mobile phone is the most important weapon for any struggler in Mumbai. Use your phone wisely. Keep saving numbers of people with complete details or better maintain a diary, otherwise after a month, you will forget whose number was it that you have saved. But having contacts do not mean just having numbers on mobile. You can have number of Karan Johar in your mobile, but he still won't pick your calls or give you any chance, would he? No. Having contact means having a good relationship with that person whose phone number you have. Another important thing, never delete any phone number from your contact menu, no matter how insignificant that person is. Mumbai world is miraculous, anything can happen here. Today a chipkoo irritating bloke lingering around you might become a billionaire tomorrow. Has happened with me, might happen with you as well.
7. When someone says that Mumbai film industry is very small and goes in circle, then trust me, they are not lying. You will always meet same person twice here. If not meet, he will definitely be mentioned at some place by someone for some reason or other. Everyone knows everyone here. Don't take this quote in a jest because I am warning you, it’s freakishly true all the time. So never fight with anyone or end relationships in bad terms. Otherwise, there are chances that you will be licking back your own spit one day.
8. When on set, even if you don’t smoke cigarettes. Keep few cigarette packs of different brands with you. I used to do that. Most of the Directors and film guys are heavy smokers and there is always a chance that they will empty their packs on set. They don't have patience to go or send someone to fetch them a pack. They instead sometimes ask someone on set whether they have cigarettes. If you immediately come up with that brand of theirs, you are hero for them. He will remember you for the rest of his life and will try to help you out of the box. This is unethical but it works. My uncle used to tell me when I was in college that everyone forgets every kind of favor but somehow they always feel gratitude towards those who give them free cigarette, free tobacco or free alcohol.
9. Always remain energetic and optimistic. People don't like low energy or dull guys because they bring the bar of the people around them down and create bad vibes in the room. No one likes a crying baby. If you tell people your problems, they might show you sympathy often but that’s all they will do for you. They will soon stop picking your calls for sure. Don't make your misery your power. Its stupid to think that a sad story will melt down people. That happens only in films. Here in Mumbai every other has a sad story of his own and no one gives a damn to it. Try jokes or funny stories.
10. Watch movies and read books as much as you can. Learn names of people involved in that particular movie or book. By constantly bringing up names of people in conversation often misguides other people that you are very intelligent and knowledgeable. It's very easy to feign intelligence with good vocabulary so learn words. If you have time, do your research as well and try to gain as much knowledge as possible because it is only that which only helps in long run, but till then you can feign intelligence by quoting other's opinion, mentioning big names and using technical words.
11. Throw your Ego down the gutter, kick your self-esteem to far off island and get ready for some unique and wonderful insults and rejections. You will be humiliated, tormented, thrown away, insulted, rejected and much more just because you are an actor with no money. But don’t care for it and never think about it again, just brush off the insults from your shirt and move on. Thinking again about them will only make you depress. Think only about your proud and winning moments because that will bring confidence inside you. Another thing, Don't try to take revenge. It's not wise anymore because firstly, its very time consuming and secondly if after taking revenge, that same person somewhere meets you accidentally again, talks nicely to you and apologizes for his behavior, then you will go into eternal pit of guilt and will never be able to forgive your self. Everyone is frustrated here, so probably that person might have scolded you under pressure of his own personal problems. Start forgiving people and move on. Never take any insult personally. Most of the time people don't even mean it. Stop wasting time in this ego and anger stuff, you have to remind yourself constantly that how much you have to achieve in so little time. Making fake deadlines for yourself and be over ambitious. It helps.
12. Don't run after money or girls. Lets take them one by one. First, money. Don't ever work for money. Your sole passion should be to appear on big screen. Also if you ask for money without much experience behind you, you will be rejected obviously and some one else will replace you for the role. There are lots of strugglers who have paternal cash inflow programs who won't think twice to work free for any project. You have to defeat them. And don't let any of those makeshift elder brothers you meet everyday in your cooperative housing society, who have struggled for a long time without ever breaking a single role, tell you that people exploit too much in Mumbai, so never work for free. Its a stupid thought. People do sometimes take advantage of you but that's the price you pay in Mumbai to become mature. Work for free no matter what story, whichever production, whoever director and for whatsoever condition, even if you have to sleep hungry for nights. Its better to work in a film, create profile and sleep hungry at home than reject the offer and still sleep hungry at home. Build your profile, strengthen your resume and make a collection of your work. Trust me, money will eventually follow you. One day, even though you would offer to do something for free, people will force you to take money as gift. Second, girls. Running after girls is a big waste of time. Do that in college and leave that there when you come to Film Industry. If you are committed, its all right otherwise stop your junior(you know whom) from giving you bad thoughts. A casual fling is ok but a serious one might hurt you seriously. You won't know when you will turn thirty here and would grow old that the dream of becoming a hero would then shift to the dream of doing a award winning character role. Mumbai city time zone follows Einstein’s special theory of relativity. Time runs much faster here than at any other part of India.
13. Everyday get out of your house making some excuse to yourself and set up some meetings. The more you meet people the more they will know you and talk about you, simple. You have to become your own PR agent. Meet everyone, even if there is a remote chance of future benefits from them. Let everyone know about your existence. Get active on social networking. Join Facebook, Youtube, Google Plus, Tumblr, Twitter, Linkedin and everything that comes under the category of social networking. Social networking gives you a big opportunity to let people know about you. Add everyone on your Facebook profile and stop thinking that Facebook is your personal space, its not. Its called social networking for a reason. The reason is to get social. Add everyone because that’s your audience who will appreciate you and increase your confidence. Facebook also acts as newspaper and lets you know what is happening where and who is doing what. Use it wisely.
14. Dress smartly. Never get drunk in a party (even if there is free booze), Always eat at home before going anywhere, never show a hungry-you to anyone. Always pay when you meet someone for the first time, it leaves tremendous amount of good impression in front of the respective party. Never criticize anyone for anything. Learn fake laughs and fake praise but do them honestly. Daydream only at night, never when someone is talking to you. Never belittle or demotivate anyone. Always be polite. If you don’t know English, speak in pure Hindi instead of pretending to be cool and hip. Send after-messages to people that it was incredible to meet them after every meeting. Talk less, listen more. Never ask questions, even if they ask you to do that never ever ask questions, instead offer solutions and positive theories. In case you really have some curiosity to ask something so much so that you feel that without asking it you might die, even then never present your curiosity in the form of a question. Be subtle and gentle. Don't judge anyone and never make rock solid first impressions in your mind, because in Mumbai sometimes a person with shabby appearance with bad taste in dressing have billions of Rupees in their accounts and sit with big influential people every evening for a cup of tea.
15. Final rule, Learn Acting. Every other rule becomes secondary if you don't fulfill the basic prerequisite condition for becoming an actor. Join institutes, go to film sets, work in theatres, attend workshops, observe people, whatever works for you but you got to be good in acting first to do your bit here. An actor is an actor 24 hours of day so never stop being an actor. Keep learning, keep growing, keep making mistakes and lastly, keep going. Remember, no one ever gets defeated, one only quits.
10. Watch movies and read books as much as you can. Learn names of people involved in that particular movie or book. By constantly bringing up names of people in conversation often misguides other people that you are very intelligent and knowledgeable. It's very easy to feign intelligence with good vocabulary so learn words. If you have time, do your research as well and try to gain as much knowledge as possible because it is only that which only helps in long run, but till then you can feign intelligence by quoting other's opinion, mentioning big names and using technical words.
11. Throw your Ego down the gutter, kick your self-esteem to far off island and get ready for some unique and wonderful insults and rejections. You will be humiliated, tormented, thrown away, insulted, rejected and much more just because you are an actor with no money. But don’t care for it and never think about it again, just brush off the insults from your shirt and move on. Thinking again about them will only make you depress. Think only about your proud and winning moments because that will bring confidence inside you. Another thing, Don't try to take revenge. It's not wise anymore because firstly, its very time consuming and secondly if after taking revenge, that same person somewhere meets you accidentally again, talks nicely to you and apologizes for his behavior, then you will go into eternal pit of guilt and will never be able to forgive your self. Everyone is frustrated here, so probably that person might have scolded you under pressure of his own personal problems. Start forgiving people and move on. Never take any insult personally. Most of the time people don't even mean it. Stop wasting time in this ego and anger stuff, you have to remind yourself constantly that how much you have to achieve in so little time. Making fake deadlines for yourself and be over ambitious. It helps.
12. Don't run after money or girls. Lets take them one by one. First, money. Don't ever work for money. Your sole passion should be to appear on big screen. Also if you ask for money without much experience behind you, you will be rejected obviously and some one else will replace you for the role. There are lots of strugglers who have paternal cash inflow programs who won't think twice to work free for any project. You have to defeat them. And don't let any of those makeshift elder brothers you meet everyday in your cooperative housing society, who have struggled for a long time without ever breaking a single role, tell you that people exploit too much in Mumbai, so never work for free. Its a stupid thought. People do sometimes take advantage of you but that's the price you pay in Mumbai to become mature. Work for free no matter what story, whichever production, whoever director and for whatsoever condition, even if you have to sleep hungry for nights. Its better to work in a film, create profile and sleep hungry at home than reject the offer and still sleep hungry at home. Build your profile, strengthen your resume and make a collection of your work. Trust me, money will eventually follow you. One day, even though you would offer to do something for free, people will force you to take money as gift. Second, girls. Running after girls is a big waste of time. Do that in college and leave that there when you come to Film Industry. If you are committed, its all right otherwise stop your junior(you know whom) from giving you bad thoughts. A casual fling is ok but a serious one might hurt you seriously. You won't know when you will turn thirty here and would grow old that the dream of becoming a hero would then shift to the dream of doing a award winning character role. Mumbai city time zone follows Einstein’s special theory of relativity. Time runs much faster here than at any other part of India.
13. Everyday get out of your house making some excuse to yourself and set up some meetings. The more you meet people the more they will know you and talk about you, simple. You have to become your own PR agent. Meet everyone, even if there is a remote chance of future benefits from them. Let everyone know about your existence. Get active on social networking. Join Facebook, Youtube, Google Plus, Tumblr, Twitter, Linkedin and everything that comes under the category of social networking. Social networking gives you a big opportunity to let people know about you. Add everyone on your Facebook profile and stop thinking that Facebook is your personal space, its not. Its called social networking for a reason. The reason is to get social. Add everyone because that’s your audience who will appreciate you and increase your confidence. Facebook also acts as newspaper and lets you know what is happening where and who is doing what. Use it wisely.
14. Dress smartly. Never get drunk in a party (even if there is free booze), Always eat at home before going anywhere, never show a hungry-you to anyone. Always pay when you meet someone for the first time, it leaves tremendous amount of good impression in front of the respective party. Never criticize anyone for anything. Learn fake laughs and fake praise but do them honestly. Daydream only at night, never when someone is talking to you. Never belittle or demotivate anyone. Always be polite. If you don’t know English, speak in pure Hindi instead of pretending to be cool and hip. Send after-messages to people that it was incredible to meet them after every meeting. Talk less, listen more. Never ask questions, even if they ask you to do that never ever ask questions, instead offer solutions and positive theories. In case you really have some curiosity to ask something so much so that you feel that without asking it you might die, even then never present your curiosity in the form of a question. Be subtle and gentle. Don't judge anyone and never make rock solid first impressions in your mind, because in Mumbai sometimes a person with shabby appearance with bad taste in dressing have billions of Rupees in their accounts and sit with big influential people every evening for a cup of tea.
15. Final rule, Learn Acting. Every other rule becomes secondary if you don't fulfill the basic prerequisite condition for becoming an actor. Join institutes, go to film sets, work in theatres, attend workshops, observe people, whatever works for you but you got to be good in acting first to do your bit here. An actor is an actor 24 hours of day so never stop being an actor. Keep learning, keep growing, keep making mistakes and lastly, keep going. Remember, no one ever gets defeated, one only quits.
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